Reflections—What You See Is What You get—or Is it?
During my branding photo session a few months back, the photographer suggested adding a fw fun props. I previously worked at Sears Portrait Studio for 11 years (yes, I’m that old!), so when I think of props, I see cutesy kids’ portraits—stuffed animals, big ABC and number blocks, etc. So, as I looked around the studio and noticed a pink toy telephone, a disco ball, and some furniture, I quickly suggested the furniture.
I mean, I’m a grown-up trying to do professional branding!
But to my surprise, she suggested the disco ball and pink telephone.
Not only did the photos turn out great, but by the end of the session, I had new ideas for blog subjects. Who would have thought I’d find writing ideas from a couple of cheap studio props?
So bear with me as I explore the concept of reflections—like the disco ball in one of the photos.
Distorted Reflections
Throughout my life, I have repeatedly heard that I am approachable, likeable, a great connector, and “real.” All sounds nice, doesn’t it? Those adjectives represent all the warm and fuzzy things.
In reality, very few of those people know the true me. I exuded confidence to hide the child inside my warrior façade—a child who survived abusive relationships while believing she wasn’t good enough, strong enough, or valuable enough to stand on her own. I connected people with others because I secretly wished I had those same connections—people I could call or text at 10 p.m. or 5 a.m. just to vent. My empathy and compassion for the less fortunate is because I have an adult child who has struggled with addiction since they were a teenager.
And until recently, I wanted to hide all that cancer has taken from me.
My energy. My physical appearance. My sleep.
I wanted to ignore all of that and worked extra hard to do my hair, makeup, and wardrobe.
I wanted desperately to make it look like I hadn’t changed at all.
Just like the little pieces of glass in a disco ball, the image of me that you see is distorted by broken pieces of glass. You only see what I allow to be reflected, which is good because I don’t always want you to see what is really inside that hollow ball!
Image Is Everything
Since my journey began with cancer, I have re-evaluated my guarded exterior and made conscious (sometimes painful) decisions to let in more light. The connections I have made from living with this disease have been completely unexpected and deeply valuable.
Friends I can call or text anytime, day or night, to celebrate a good day or vent about a bad day.
Real mission of advocacy for other Stage 4 survivors.
Projecting a happy, shiny image when I was rotting and hollow inside was what I did best for years. And it was exhausting. Now, the image reflected in the broken pieces of my life is real. What you see is pretty much what you get most days.
Weekly Challenge
After spending years projecting a perfect image from a not-so-perfect reality, I know that there are many of you like me.
You have difficult family relationships, so you do your best to hide that with vacation pictures, holiday pictures, and even pet photos.
You are insecure and doubt your professional ability, so you overcompensate with long hours at work. You surround yourself with countless professional connections that make you feel valued.
But inside, you are really still a scared child in the midst of the battle for your life.
Take a deep look at your own disco ball and see what is being reflected in those fragments of glass. If you don’t like what you see, it is up to YOU to find out why.
Dig deep. Call a friend, or make a friend. See a therapist. Find a new hobby that YOU truly enjoy.
And once you have the disco ball that you like …
Go forth, Be exceptional!
